There's something really, really sad about being single at the moment when most of you,
wait, let's just make that ALL of you ladies are either engaged waiting to be married - planning for
that wedding, MARRIED trying for a kid, or expecting, or already popped, baby in tow.
by MOST and ALL i meant my closest friends, old high school friends, old colleagues, old boyfriends,
old enemies,acquaintances, younger brothers' friends and even some people i don't really know
who bother reading my blog and emailing. there of course, might be tens of thousands more in the
same situation, only i'm not that world-known and thus, don't really know them.
it must that period in our generation.
people MY generation would be what amongst the 25s - 28s at the moment,
p-e-r-f-e-c-t age to get married and have kids, our parents would agree to that.
hell, mine would.
i'd previously told Dad i'd get down to it when im 30 or so. the marrying bit.
He said maximum 26 or I do believe he'd either kick me out,
or sell me off to someone who's willing to marry a difficult, grumpy, unwilling 26-yr old daughter!!!
and i am 26 THIS year lahhhh.
hey, don't get me wrong, of course such news can only invite oohhsss and aaahs and everything
congratulatory.
even being the mean, more than often grumpy cow i am, i do light up at news of those kind, okay.
however, me being still single - with all these going around ALL about the same time,
trust me, i do feel pangs of jealousy and even some small traces of self-inadequacy.
yes, yes. i know.
my darling best friend Ned would say - what are you waiting for, just go get married.
easier said than done, see?
i would at some point in my life (better early than later, of course) want to get married...
even get my tummy big and then endure having a baby pulled out of me
(now for all of you who know me and my very ultra-low threshold of pain - i wince at being pricked, this IS something)
doing all of this with someone who loves me at least.
better, someone who i do love in return.
best, if he was all mine - ring on finger, wedding photos in album, said wedding vows and all that sappy-ness.
hell, yeah.
just less than a couple of years or so back this wasn't a pressing thought in my mind.
i wasn't really bothered.
marriage wasn't a number 1 to-achieve in my life-list. it probably wasn't even in the top 5.
i could stay in a long, stable relationship and i would be more than content.
simple to please, i am.
BUT now that i see (and hear of course, when some of you start on it) all the fun and love,
ups and downs, thick and thins of how that bit of married, and even parental life is,
i can't help but think about what i am missing out on.
yes, thanks to all of you.
and those bossy parents of mine, who's forever asking me when.
and to Mama and Baba, my 2nd set of parents who's already planned their part in my wedding.
even those brothers of mine who can't wait to see me married and have that baby niece/nephew for
them in the pram for them to coo at.
and especially to those best / close / even just normal friends of mine who press me EVERYTIME.
stress, okay????
yes, yes, nonchalant as i am, i do think about it.
how not to when almost every month Mom gets either:
1. engagement invite
2. wedding invite
3. new baby party invite
ALL addressed to a certain 'MISS' Rozaleen ???????????????
i only pretend to be un-bothered when asked cos i don't really want to get into it and depress myself at the
current 'unseeming' situations i am at in life.
Don't get me wrong. I am not unhappy.
But neither am I as happy as you lot, obviously.